


but everybody's changing and i don't feel the same

by Hieiandshino



Category: Marvel, Marvel (Comics), Marvel 616, X-Factor (Comics)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-03
Updated: 2014-06-03
Packaged: 2017-12-25 04:18:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 794
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/948539
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hieiandshino/pseuds/Hieiandshino
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>The body he loves now is not the body he loved before.</i>
</p>
<p>(Unrevised work)</p>
            </blockquote>





	but everybody's changing and i don't feel the same

**Author's Note:**

> Marvel (all media types), more exactly X-Factor, does not belong to me.
> 
> This fanfic sets after _X-Factor #45_ , but before _X-Factor #208_.
> 
> English isn’t my first language and this fanfic wasn’t revised by my beta, so if you see any mistake, please let me know!
> 
> Title of the fanfic comes from _Everybody's changing_ , from Keane.

His body has weakened — it’s the first thing Shatterstar notices. The flesh and the muscles are softer, clearly because Julio isn’t training as much as before, but this hypothesis seems wrong. It’s still a strong body, capable of fighting, capable of killing; it's just not like before.

Before, Julio was a killing machine; his body was a massive temple of violence and uncomfortable skin. The tension that occurred between Cable and he added much to its sharpness, to the way he would stiffen to every person who dared to approach him, even if they meant Rictor no harm — Shatterstar himself wasn't an exception. He can remember the way Julio moved, a body that lived in conflict with its mind — _what_ he was fighting against _who_ he should be, leaving behind a confused teenager, mutant, trying to fit in the world but, most of all, trying to fit inside his own family.

Now, _now_ , with Julio writhing and gasping under him, a mess of Spanish and brown hair, Shatterstar notices that all that stiffness is gone. Rictor fits in his new character as much as he fits this team. There is so much harmony in the way he moves now, together with ‘Star’s thrusts, together with the others, that makes him _jealous_. It’s a conflicting emotion, in which he isn’t sure he loves it because he feels it or hates it because he is compelled to feel it. Shatterstar was the first man who touched Julio but definitely wasn't the one who taught him how to be like this — comfortable with his own body and his own choices.

“Your body.” Shatterstar mumbles, his voice amazed and mystified at the softness of Julio’s body — softness he would never have guessed it existed before, a hidden treasure underneath the boy that Julio was. “It is different than before.”

Rictor opens his eyes, his eyelashes fluttering like small butterflies, and he says nothing for a moment; only pants in a way that makes 'Star aches even more, and then smirks a little because Julio apparently never forgot how to make Shatterstar harder. After meeting a few of his thrusts and painting Shatterstar’s back in red with his fingernails, Julio says, lifting an eyebrow as if it is obvious: “It's because I'm _old_.”

It is not. Shatterstar knows little about Earth’s aging — mostly because a gladiator from Mojoworld will never see the wrinkles under their eyes —, but he knows the body he loves now is not the body he loved before.

The skin is the same, tanned and covered with some scars, and so is the size ( _not as built, even after so many battles, but 'Star likes to think this happened because Rictor is Earth itself, fragile only in sight. He is what people call a romantic — even he knows that much and takes pleasure in this idea — but no one can blame him for it, after knowing everything Julio can do and have done already_ ), but the muscles feel different from all those years ago, like the heat, the shivers and every fiber of Julio. By touching them, 'Star knows Julio left behind the old lessons of his family about who he should be, and that he forgave himself and others for their prejudices and insecurities. He is louder too, his voice echoing through the bedroom when, in the past, Julio would cover his gasps and pants, for Mexico was ( _is?_ ) different, Mexico was ( _is?_ ) _bad_. Oh, Shatterstar thinks as he buries himself deep inside Rictor, breath disappearing like a magic trick as his orgasm builds, that now he can kiss Julio in front of other people and not feel scared of being denied the loveliest of the touches.

Julio comes right after him, body sinking on the mattress, spent, satisfied, and surprisingly relaxed despite the fact Rictor and he are in a house that isn't safe. Something clicks in Shatterstar’s mind and he finally sees what he was missing: Julio’s body not only softened thanks to the lack of intense training, but also because of the familiar touch of the X-Factor. A place that will never be truly safe, however feels like home.

“I missed you.” Rictor mumbles, pulling him for a kiss, ruining the ideal moment for ‘Star to declare to Julio that even after all this time he still feels the same for him _—_ that he loves this new him that still smells and tastes like the old one. But since the moment for declarations and romance is over, Shatterstar decides to only kiss Rictor back, slowly and sweetly, wondering if, one day, his body will lose its sharp edges too and finally fit in this world that is everything but welcoming.

And as he thinks, he loves. And as he loves, he changes.

**Author's Note:**

>  **(2013-08-30)**  
>  This is an old story I only feel comfortable posting now. Not sure it's good, but I'm proud of some parts. Hope you like it too!
> 
> **(2014-06-03)**  
>  Read it again after a while and noticed a few mistakes and confused sentences. I decided to change it a little, but it doesn't change the full content of the story.


End file.
